I know that I need to be writing the next post about our weekend to Vicenza, Venice, and Verona, but I have something else on my mind that I want to write about instead- and since this is my blog, I am giving myself permission :)
I have recently realized that I am the annoying paleo-dieting-Crossfitter that everybody hates.
With that being said, I want you to hear me out. I have only ever been to one Crossfit gym, which is Crossfit Ansbach, so I don't know much about how other gyms work. I do know that at most boxes, all the sexy twenty-something girls wear short-shorts and knee-socks (you do your thang you sexy Crossfit mamas), while intimidating the fuck out of me, and probably inviting the hatred of lots of other women. I have also watched the video on youtube making fun of Crossfit ladies (check it out and laugh) and the women at my gym are NOT like that. So, basically, what I am trying to get at is I don't know what Crossfit gyms are like in your mind, or what image you think of when I say Crossfit, or even if you love or hate the idea you have of it. I didn't even know how I felt about it before I started doing it...
What I know now is that Crossfit is an amazing passion to have. I have not felt so challenged, mentally and physically, ever before. I have very rarely been motivated to stick to a hobby or interest in my last twenty-four years. Not to mention, the Crossfit booty! Listen up y'all, the Crossfit booty is a real thing, I have seen it on every woman I work out with, I believe in it, I covet it, and all of those silly workouts you find on the internet claiming to give you a nice ass have nothing on the Crossfit booty. I am currently working diligently to obtain my own ;)
Mooooving on... I couldn't even tell you the ages of all the women I work out with, but I can tell you that there is a range of at least 20 years going on. We have women that come into the gym with babies, with teenagers, with 4 toddlers hanging onto them from all sides- and those mom's are some strong and impressive women! I get my ass kicked by moms every morning in every workout that I do. And I am not one bit ashamed, because these women are no joke. There are the other women like me who don't have kids yet, and you know what? They kick my ass, too! But, as Rob assures me (even during my worst performances) I am getting stronger every day. When I wake up in the morning, I am excited to go to the box and struggle and sweat because one day, as I continue to make small improvements and accomplish, I will be as strong and as healthy and as impressive as these new female role models I have found. I am new to this, I don't know much about it yet, but I know how great it makes me feel, how much I am learning, and how much I adore the people I have met, so yes, it may be aggravating to listen to me talk about it, but I can't help it. I fucking love it.
Onto the Paleo portion of my annoying-ness:
Before all the craziness of the move, I was doing my own adapted version of the South Beach Diet- I basically cut out processed foods the best I could, cut out sugar (besides splenda), and only ate whole-wheat. I was also trying to make a couple no-meat meals a week, maybe working towards future vegetarianism. But I didn't want to limit myself from trying all the new dishes and drinks that Germany had to offer, so I didn't focus on starting up another "diet" right away.
After a couple weeks of doing the Crossfit thing, I was sure that I needed to go back to some sort of eating plan.
I also feel the need to explain why I "diet," because when you are already perceived "thin," people tend to get mad at you when they hear you are on a "diet." I control what I eat because I love food soooo much, that if I don't set some guidelines for myself, I quickly get out of control. Now, I don't love the extra 5-10 pounds that I put on when I'm stuffing my face all day, but the bigger issue is how awful I feel when I eat whatever I want, whenever I want it. I tend to have digestive issues, which I have had my entire life, and which I had decided before moving here were caused partially by a mild case of lactose-intolerance. I usually have stomach aches almost every day when I don't watch what I eat, and it disrupts my day and my plans when I have to lie down until I feel better.
It is also extremely aggravating to know you are not getting the results you should be getting from all of that excruciatingly hard work at the gym, because you are bombarding your body with sugars and ick. There I was, debating on when to start up my usual "diet," when I overheard a conversation between two friends after a workout about the Whole 30. After a few more chats at the gym about what Paleo is and isn't, I got online and did a few hours of research. I decided that if I was going to go full force at the gym, I should follow suit with my diet, and at least give Paleo a try (This is what Paleo is, in a nutshell....). For a week, I did Paleo as strict as it gets, but I found myself getting frustrated and I felt I would be thrown off track completely if I didn't adjust the diet more. I spoke with some long-term Paleos and researched some more, and decided to allow some cheese and a very tiny bit of other dairy into my diet.
I am now working on my third week of Paleo, and it is getting easier every day! I enjoy having sauteed veggies, eggs, and bacon for breakfast. I have learned all the delicious ways I can spice up a salad for lunch. I even made a feast of a dinner for company that was extremely Paleo friendly, and I got rave reviews from every person in attendance. I like knowing that the meat I am eating doesn't have steroids or antibiotics in it and that it doesn't come from a cow fattened up on grains. I like knowing what every single item I put in my body is, and that I don't eat anything with ingredients I can't pronounce. I don't eat like this because I think I am fat, although eating this way will probably cause me to tone up. I'm not going to lie, I won't hate it if all the sudden I have a sexy, muscular, physique. But that is not my goal; I eat this way because it makes me feel better and because I am passionate about where food comes from and how terrible processed food is for our bodies. Long before I started Paleo, I was bothered by the way the food industry works in the states, and I had watched enough documentaries on the topic to want to change the way I ate- Paleo just gave me the guidelines I needed to change my habits.
So yes, I have become the annoying Paleo-dieting-Crossfitter that everybody hates. And I am okay with it, because I am loving myself, and the way I feel, more and more every day.