Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Crossfit Booty

This week I asked for requests for a blog topic, and I got one from a friend:


Obviously, he was trying to be funny, but I can totally work with this!

So, the definition of twerkin', according to The Oxford Dictionary Online, is "to dance to popular music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low, squatting stance. (If you need an example, I keep hearing that Miley Cyrus was twerkin', or attempting to twerk, all over the place this week.)

What is so important about twerkin'??? Well, nothing, actually. Its kind of gross and most people who attempt it should stop. But, it lead my wandering mind to another related topic....


Oh yes. The elusive and beautiful Crossfit booty. All the ladies want one and all the men want to look at one. It is truly the perfect booty.

Here are some examples because I know you want them, its okay, don't be embarassed:

Now is the perfect time to revisit my initial statement from June about wanting a Crossfit booty because I have some exciting news!

I made a shocking discovery when I saw myself from the side in an office that had floor to ceiling windows. It was a butt! My back no longer met the top of my legs with a non-commital half-bump.
At that moment, in that window, wearing those workout spandex (and no they weren't lululemon, so there was no magical illusion taking place), I had my very own, true blue, Crossfit Booty!!!

Is it the best Crossfit booty I've ever seen? Definitely not! But does it exist? I think it really might!
I also had un-solicited confirmation from a trusted outside source, who is not my husband and is therefore not obligated to tell me that my butt looks good, which means that I am not imagining this new bottom! Whooo hoooo!

I decided I would tell you how it is possible that I could be growing a bubbly bum after only four months of Crossfit, just in case you don't believe me or are curious about obtaining one of your own.

The four most important muscles in creating a Crossfit booty are the gluteus maximus and the biceps femoris, semitendinosus, and semimembranosus, all of which make up hamstringsScientifically, glutes move your hips forward and hamstrings bend your knee. Superficially, strong glutes and hamstrings give you perky buns-of-steel.

There are many reasons so many Crossfitters (men and women alike) have such drool-worthy behinds, but one of the biggest contributers is the squat. We do a ton of types of squats: Back Squats, Front Squats, Air Squats, Jumping Squats, Overhead Squats.... the list goes on and agonizingly on. Other exercises that activate glutes are sprints, jumping, deadlifts and lunges.

I can safely say that I have done HUNDREDS of those exercises in the last four months, along with all the other workouts that I have completed which didn't focus on my glutes and hamstrings but used them secondarily. Actually, it is hard to think of movements we use that don't require these muscle groups. This makes total sense because Crossfit specializes in functional movements, which means you will never isolate a muscle to work it out. 
I am constantly being reminded to "tighten up your ass and abs" and "use your hips," no matter whether the exercise is lifting a bar overhead or squatting it down. Rob tells us all the time that we, as a society, have forgotten how to use our butts. I totally agree! It is crazy how hard it is to learn to do movements that should be so natural! So much power and fitness is going wasted! Plus, so many butts are going neglected when they could add so much bootyliciousness to the world!

I promise that I use my butt every time that I go to Crossfit, and as much as I have to focus on it, I am never thinking about what I need to do to make it look better (besides when my coach teases me for my original crossfit booty post or I notice a great one in class-- thats right boys, girls check out butts, too!) but four amazing months later, it just does. Like magic :)

P.S. Even when I do have a better Crossfit booty, you still won't catch me twerkin'. Ew.

Side note: Do you remember those annoying targeted workouts that are all over the internet? Take a second and browse a few of them meant for giving you a better butt....
They probably contain some sort of squat and some sort of hip extension. After the third time of repeating the whole process you will probably get bored and do something else. If you stick to it, besides your body getting used to doing the same workout over and over again, there is absolutely no way you will do as many reps as you would if you were working out at a Crossfit box. I would doubt that you will be using as much intensity, either. Also, in order to work other muscle groups, you may have to find other isolated muscle workouts and add them onto this butt workout. You don't want a beautiful beach-ready butt and flabby arms, right?? STOP TORTURING YOURSELF!!!! If you want real results, real strength, and real health/fitness, put in REAL work!!!

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